Those Three Words
by Insprizon
Summary: His love was not shown, and with that a new journey was afoot. Royai.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the new revised chapter of my story. Most of its been completely changed, and some of its the same, like the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

**Enjoy.**

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I wonder every day the same thing.

I wonder if he loves me.

For a strong woman such as me, going through a rough childhood with a crazed alchemist as a father and bearing the Ishbalan War and carrying the lives of those that I took unwillingly, would not be expected to be upset so easily and might even be compared to a faint-hearted schoolgirl.

But in reality, I was not as strong as everyone put me out to be. Hiding behind my tough façade was a tough act to accomplish as woman 1st Lieutenant. For so long, I've wanted to let go. For so _long, _I've wanted to open my door of secrets. But I was a coward, afraid of the outcomes and the disadvantages at being so honest.

But this brings me to my current problem.

He doesn't love me.

Our love was fast to grow, but very passionate. It started with a chaste kiss, that turned into passionate, hot sex with clothes thrown around my apartment, and heart squeezing memories of the night before fresh on our minds in the morning.

And with a silent look to each other in the morning, I knew it was the start of a very difficult and risky relationship.

From there, a pattern had been issued. His bed would be my main destination for the night, and in the morning our actions would resume full of passion and vocal cries loud enough to worry the neighbors.

But, the thought of what kind of relationship this _truly_ came into play. Was a mutual feeling of love involved? Or was it a more friends with benefits sort of thing?

I started to panic. I had loved Roy, from the moment he came to live in my house as a teenager. But what was this? I squirmed constantly with worry and confusion.

And finally, the urge to figure out the truth behind this relationship had finally gripped its control around my mouth and I had, in a moment of passion, voiced my true feelings about him. And what followed was an awkward grunt in response and a continuance in actions while avoiding eyes for the rest of the night.

I didn't know what to do. So I did the first thing that came to mind.

I ignored him.

He started to notice the new attitude towards him while into the third day of the plan. Testing, he would start to ask me questions, just random ones. When I wouldn't answer him, avoiding him with answers such as "Get back to work, sir," and other conversation-ending responses, his face would scrunch in frustration, a palm in a fist and he would explode. His voice was soft but demanding: why was I avoiding him? What was wrong with me? Pleadings to answer him would start, and in a moment of quick thinking and nervousness, I would make an excuse to leave and escape the mental corner he had forced me into.

The pattern had continued for a couple of days. It was Friday, and I could tell that he was not happy one bit about the events that had happened this past week, but I could tell he was up to something. It made me nervous, him knowing something that I didn't was very nerve-racking.

It was reaching the end of the day when I came back to our shared office to find an envelope in my desk, nothing special. My heart skipped a bit. What might be in the letter? A note of anger? An apology? What I have been waiting to hear?

My clammy hands silently opened the anonymous letter, blood pounding in my ears as I read the small letter.

_Riza,_

_Please come to my apartment at 6 tomorrow for dinner._

_Roy_

For a moment, I was satisfied knowing he had caught the drift in knowing we needed to talk, but then I was angry. Roy had a way of manipulating people into changing their intentions. I didn't feel like being one of his victims, and I sure as hell was not going to be used.

And with a hint of frustration, Saturday had come. And 6 had come even faster, leaving me rushing to put on a casual blouse and skirt, rushing to Roy's house. When I had finally ended up in front of Roy's door, out of breath and softly panting, my hand reached to knock but I froze. What was going to happen during dinner? Was he going to act like I was acting at work? Was he going to _question_ me about what happened at work? What ever else I was about to think quickly was wiped away and replaced with embarrassment as the door swung open, my hand still frozen in air as the raven- haired man stared at me curiously.

"I- I'm sorry," I stuttered, my current position etching his face in confusion. "I was just- just thinking-"

"No, it's okay. Come on in." He politely interrupted my lost voice, while he move aside to let my embarrassed self in. I looked towards his table to notice there was no food, nor was there a smell indicating dinner was almost done from the kitchen. We he saw my confused face, his expression turned serious. "I think we need to talk."

He motioned for me to sit down and I obeyed, sitting on one of the wooden chairs around the table while he stood in the same place with that austere face. Uncomfortable I was, both because the chair was in very poor shape and because of those ebony eyes burning holes into my head.

"Why are you ignoring me all of the sudden?" He questioned, his face betraying its stoic behavior and showing a hint of anger.

"…" Even though I had a great explanation for this turn of events, the words would not summon up to my vocal chords.

An annoyed sigh escaped his lungs as he went to lean against the table, his face hidden by a shadow.

"I…" I just couldn't gather my words enough to say it. My heart was pounding, My hands sweaty. What was wrong with me? Was I afraid of the outcome? That must've been it.

His face turned to my voice, the shadow disappearing and replacing it with a look that said, _Well, out with it already!_

And with that one look, I couldn't care less what he thought of me. I didn't care if it made me a fool, or if I was the one who misunderstood the situation. Because, I knew with a grim truth, that I was right in treating these past days with such an attitude.

"Do you love me?"

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**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This the new revised chapter of my story. Less dramatic and way less OOC.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

**Enjoy.**

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"W-Wha…" It felt like his head had been slammed on the table a couple thousand times.

Her face had turned from nervous to pleading for an answer, hoping that she would get the wanted- needed one.

She turned and silently got up, walking to the door as she felt a slightly large hand grip her forearm. "Wait. Riza…" He just couldn't say it. I mean, usually he could say it around the other women he went out with, but they were nothing like Riza. They were busty, curvy and bubbly, but Riza- Riza was just Riza. Never was she hesitant in being straightforward towards him, expressing her opinions in a moment's notice. Her laugh would be gentle and kind, not giggly or screeching. Never did she admire him for his brave attitude in Ishbal, for she knew the real truth. She was what no other woman could ever be to him. He sweated or developed nervous ticks whenever she was around him, and he had to try his hardest every time she walked by him not to screw the work and take her right there on the wooden table. So when it came down to a situation like this, just to say those three words, he felt like he was making the biggest decision of his life.

She abruptly stopped resisting and turned around to face his chest, her eyes concentrated on the center. "I want you to say it," She said, her voice firm and hard as she scrunched her eyebrows. "I want you to say it and mean it, Roy Mustang." She finally looked up to his eyes, her honey eyes more intense and stronger than he's ever seen them.

"I…" _Just say it!_ But it wouldn't come. But he did manage to squeak something out. "I'm sorry?"

The silence was deafeningly loud between the two and one of the hardest moments of his life. A sorrowful smile showed her pain, and for once Roy realized how strong she truly was.

"I am too." And with a painful truth upon her shoulders, she proceeded to the door ina slight haste.

"Wait!" his hand gripped her wrist in a moment of desperation, feeling suddenly surprised at viciousness she used in snatching her hand back.

"Don't touch me." She gritted, her arm now to her side and glassy eyes pleading in silent remorse. With that, she turned and walked calmly out door. As she walked out, she sighed with relief that he had no intentions in chasing after her, for her wall of stubbornness would surely crumble. She thought about running, but quickly wiped that thought out by knowing that was only the cowardly thing to do. As she took a breather and walked down the stairs, she thought about what she should do. No, never would she leave her position beside him as his subordinate, remembering her permanent promise of many years ago. For now, she would start the process of moving on. As she unlocked the door of her apartment, she was met by her now only companion. "Ah, hello Black Hayate," she whispered, gently closing the door and massaging the black dog's back. The small dog noticed his owners strange attitude and barked sadly. "Ah, so you've noticed," she said, chuckling in sorrow as he whimpered in reply. "Don't worry Braha, I'll be fine." She carried herself to her room, each step making her bed sound more like paradise. She finally reached her room where she dropped onto the large soft mattress, drifting off to sleep fully clothed.

She was awoken around 2 in the morning, the phone's ring irritating her ears, waking her in a bad mood. Trying to drown out the noise, she put a pillow over head, but it seemed the phone wanted to annoy her. Finally, she trudged into the dining room, picking up the receiver. "1st Lieutenant Hawkeye." She said lazily but with a gruff manner.

"Uh, Lieutenant Hawkeye?" The smoking Luietenant's voice reached her ears, an annoyed sigh escaping from her lips.

"What do you want Havoc?" she sat down in a chair next to the stand as he gave an explanation.

"Well… I was trying to call Chief, but he wouldn't answer the phone. Do you know where--"

"No." Her voice was curt and indicated she also did not _care _where he was as well. "Goodnight, Lieutenant."

Something was wrong, Jean realized with a worry. "Hawkeye, are o-"

"_Please, _Havoc. Just…leave me alone right now. Goodnight."

"O-Okay. Night." That was strange, Havoc thought with a lingering feeling of nervousness. Never has the Lieutenant sounded so weak and defeated. Could this be part of the reason of why the Colonel wasn't answering his phone?

Without awaiting a response, Riza returned the phone to its holder. That conversation had not played out as nicely as it should have, without a doubt leaving the subordinate worried and suspicious.

But no longer could she keep her mask of a stone attitude glued into place. Sooner or later, she knew, it would fall. But never did she think it would fall at such a horrid time, especially with the unknown upcoming events that were about to unfortunately unfold.

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**Please Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the new revised chapter of my story. Has been corrected and changed.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

**Enjoy.**

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Trying his best to not loose his control, he stared blankly at the front door of his dark apartment, thinking of only one thing:

What the _fuck _had just happen?

One minute, he was angry, the next minute he was beyond shocked, and now he's in shock and pain. If there is one, God must really hate him.

He thought he should go after Riza, but he didn't even take one step until he thought otherwise. What help would chasing her down do? He didn't know where she was, nor did he know what he would say if he even caught her just in time.

That plan completely demolished, the alchemist sat in the wooden chair against the table, his hands clasped together upon the table as he stared out into place.

He was later brought out of his thoughts by the phone's shrill ringing. His first thought was that it was someone from work, but he immediately realized that the only person who really knew his phone number was Riza. Dashing for the phone, he nearly tripped as he found the power to stop from hitting the wall and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Roy's panting voice croaked through the phone.

"Yo, Chief!" Havoc's abnormally happy voice boomed through the receiver. "Just callin' to tell-"

The phone dropped down on the hook, abruptly stopping the subordinate's voice and replacing it with the colonel's disappointed sigh.

-

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"What the hell?"

The smoker stared at the phone for a while, wondering why the hell he hung up on him. _Probably in the middle of something 'important', _Havoc thought with disgust.

Wiping that thought away, he decided to call Hawkeye. He accidentally taken a file from the office home and it was supposed to be turned by yesterday. Dialing the number, he got a little shock from the defeated reply.

"1st Lieutenant Hawkeye." The vou=ice was beyond tired, but more like weakened and beat down, the short-haired man thought with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh, Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"What is it, Havoc?"

"Well…" Trying to stay on her good side, he started off explaining. "I was trying to call Chief, but he wouldn't answer the phone. Do you know where-"

"No. Goodnight Liuetenant." More and more he became worried. This wasn't;t the Lieutenant Hawkeye he knew, and with a sudden suspicion, he had a good idea the Colonel had something to do with it. "Hawkeye, are you o-"

"_Please, _Havoc," Was- was she _pleading _to him? "Just…leave me alone right now. Goodnight."

The sudden change in tone had left him stuttering. "O-Okay. Night." His response was in vain as the phone clicked was before. Something seriously was going on, he thought with a grimace, no longer caring about the overdue report. And he was going to find out.

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It was the morning of Monday that the sharpshooter realized how much relaxed she felt in so many years. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her back. The thought of releasing her true feelings about Roy had worried her, and as the worst possible situation had become reality, surprisingly only optimistic thoughts were in mind. As much as she hates admitting it, it was probably a good idea to settle things with the raven haired man. It relieved a lot of stress. She felt better than she was before the military. Hell, it felt better than she ever felt!

But, she shouldn't have thought so soon as a sudden illness rushed over her. As she ran to the toilet, all the food she had for dinner last night lunged back up her throat and in the bowl. Her being usually healthy and almost never sick, she decided she would have to come to work late today.

Lurking in her stomach a feeling started to clutch at her insides she felt. And with that, she knew something bad was coming.

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Please review!


	4. troubles

hi there.

fourth chapter.

enjoy.

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To believe that Roy Mustang, of all people, had _actually_ slept with Riza Hawkeye, the best sharpshooter of all Amestris and the most feared woman in the military. 

Which, was not that hard to believe.

But, what was really hard to believe was that Roy Mustang had _tricked _Riza Hawkeye into sleeping with him for the sex.

Now, no matter how many girlfriends the Colonel has had and has taken from him, 1st Lieutenant Havoc knew that Roy Mustang would never, ever, ever, ever, EVER in his life do that kind of sick thing to Riza Hawkeye.

That quick thought was what changed Havoc's mind from knocking the shit out of Mustang as he came in that morning, weary with bags under his eyes.

"Yo, chief!"

The raven-haired man side-glanced at his subordinate, his signature cigarette unlit, hanging lazily in his mouth.

"What do you want?" he asked gruffly.

"Well, I was kinda of wondering what-"

"Where is Hawkeye?" He interrupted, his voice straining when saying his ex-lover's name. He knew what happened on Saturday was a bit tough, but she was never late for work. Never.

"Oh, yeah she called in saying she's gonna be a little late, but, enough about Hawkeye," Havoc said, turning to close the door and lean against it. "Let's talk about your problems.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Riza Hawkeye was many things right now.

Nervous.

Annoyed.

Pissed.

Scared.

Scared, because once she had met the doctor and told her the symptoms she was having, she told her she was going to take a sample of her blood.

For a pregnancy test.

Why the hell would she need a pregnancy test?! She wasn't pregnant!

Or was she?

That's why she was scared. This one little thing, could ruin her career, her relationship with Roy (which was already pretty much screwed up), and her life.

That's why, when doctor came in, with a smile on his face, her heart was pounding.

"Congradulations, Miss Hawkeye, you are-"

She didn't need to hear the last word. She already knew what that last word was, and that's why she walked right past that doctor, down the hallway, and out of the hospital.

"…Pregnant?"

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Problems? What would you know about me and my problems, Havoc?" Roy was quite annoyed now that his subordinate had come into _his_ office and started talking about how they needed to deal with 'his problems."'

"Well first of all, I know that had a really bad weekend, and I mean, really bad."

"Oh, Havoc, how did you know?" The Colonel said, his voice full of sarcasm and his chin resting on his hand, getting quite bored from this conversation.

"And, I know that you had a very, stressing fight with your lover…"

"…" The Colonel was now paying full attention to the blonde, for so far everything he said was true.

"…Who is Riza Hawkeye."

"…Get the hell out of my office, Havoc. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, me and Lieutenant are not in a-"

"Relationship? Pfft, please, I've heard that too many times to count." Havoc waved his hand in denial, a very I've-got-you-cornered smirk plastered on his face. "And plus, I know everything that went on in that fight."

Roy before thought the man was really telling the truth, but now he was just out of his mind. "Yeah right, Havoc."

"I'm tellin' the truth!"

"Oh yeah? Then what day did I have this fight with my 'lover,' the Lieutenant?"

Roy Mustang was finally caught. Havoc smiled nice and big, satisfaction caressing throughout his body.

"Saturday."

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end of chapter! I tried to make it longer and i did! yay! Im am sooooo sorry i havent updated in the longest time. I have been sooo buried in homework that I couldnt get to the computer that much (unless it dealt with homework) 

also, I need you guys' opinions on wheter or not Riza should tell Roy she's pregnant... review and tell me your answer!!!


	5. Just me and the baby

**hello again.**

**im so sorry. i know i havent updated in the longest time. Ive been really busy with school.**

**but this chapter is i think longer than others. enjoy.**

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He was going rigid.

Not just because of the fact that the second luietenant knew the fact that he and Hawkeye situated in a secret relationship (which basically ended over the weekend).

But the fact that his subordinate- who was standing only 3 feet awa, with that stupid smirk (that he used all the time) plastered on his face- knew that he was embarrassed, and filled with shame- knowing that he got dumped.

By Luietenant Hawkeye.

_Shit! _

He was stuck. And Havoc knew that, too.

This was going to be a _long_ day.

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Riza POV 

Going to work was the last thing on my mind. I knew if I went, something would happen.

Something bad. Really bad.

So here I am, sitting against the wall in my hallway, with Black Hayate licking my bare feet, shoes strewn across the floor as I stared at the pamphlets that I snatched at the clinic before leaving.

Pregnancy pamphlets.

The damn pamphlets. With women with swollen stomachs and fake smiles dancing upon their lips on the covers.

Why the hell did it have to be this way?

I didn't wantthis baby.

More like, I don't to tell _him _about the baby.

Colonel Roy Mustang.

And look at that, just thinking about him makes tears spill from my eyes!

Fucking hormones! Fucking baby-

No. It wasn't the baby's fault. Hell, it wasn't Roy's fault.

It was mine. I knew the consequences, and I ignored them anyways, because I was too gullible to know that he was using me. Using me for his undying lust of sex.

But that's why I'm leaving. Not coming back. Going far away. And have my baby.

I'll forget the past, and look towards the furture.

From now on, I'm on my own.

It's just me, and my baby.

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Normal POV 

The taping reverberated throughout the room, bouncing of the walls and into the room. To anyone, it would be agitating.

To Roy, it stopped him from thinking. Thinking about her.

She hadn't coome in to work for a week now.

He knew how Riza was. Her feelings came last compared with everything.

Especialy work. He didn't think their affected her **that** much.

_Selfish bastard, _he thought. _Riza thinks I was using her, and the only thing I can think about is being mad at her for not coming to work._

He knew he had to fix this.

Because he was in some deep shit.

**Deep.**

Especially with Havoc. He still had some explaining to do. 

"_Get out."_

"_Wha-" he was interrupted suddenlywhen he felt rough pushing on his shoulders towards the door, indicatng the Colonel would even force him out if he had to. "B-but, you-"_

"_Get out, Havoc." A scowl was replaced by the frown, his eyes burning holes into the back of the blonde's head._

"_But! Come on-"_

"_GET OUT!!"_

_SLAM!_

Well, maybe he could just leave it how it was.

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**Riza POV**

Last box. Packed, and on its way to Risembool.

Conveniently, a house came on sale. I phoned Winry, and she said she wouldlove to help me.

And **not **to tell Roy. On any circumstances.

Winry suggested that I move in closer to her, but decided just to live in town and not on the edges with them, due to Edward and Alphonse.

As much as Edward hates the Colonel, he stil is his superior officer, making it way too risky to trust those two.

Now, it was me, my suitcase, and letter.

My letter saying goodbye to him. It's better this way, anyways.

Me without him, him without me.

Yeah.

I closed the door, The cold steel sphere encased by my hand.

It was tempting. Tempting to return.

Tempting to open the door and throw my back on the floor.

Tempting to walk staright into that office and begin to work to prove that Roy Mustang that I was **not** a coward.

But I couldn't. Because it was too late.

And because, I am a coward.

A big one.

And that's why, I'm down the stairs, and into the cab, my eyes glazed over, tears already spilling.

And it wasn't my hormones.

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** whew! that was hard.**

**ill probably not update for a while, but please review!**


	6. One last goodbye

**Hello, everyone!**

**Its been a loong time since I last updated; ive been real busy with school, and then we're moving and everything, so... its been hard to find some free time to work on this chapter.**

**I've decided to go over my reviews and use some of the advice provided. I got one review that made me realize i was making Riza OOC, so ive tried to change the story to make it fit her personality.**

**Have fun reading!**

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Riza's POV

Before I headed out of town and into my new life, I knew I had to tell a5t least someone my plan. Someone could trust not to tell anyone of my "hideout."

I knocked my calloused hands on the door of the comfortable home, it soon being opened by the widow of the Colonel's best friend.

"Riza!" Gracias Hughes' eyes widened, this was quite a surprised visit. "It's been so long! It's wonderful to see you! Please come in-"

At that this time, it was necessary I cut in. "Oh no, its fine, I just wanted to stop by real quick to tell you something." Although my voice had an emotionless tone, my face obviously told her something was wrong.

"Oh, okay. Did something happen at work?" Worry etched over the older woman's face. "Did something happen to-"

"I'm leaving."

Eyes widened, mouth agape. She looked like a fished out of water, her mouth opening and closing but no sounds escaping.

"Did you get transferred-"

"No. I've resigned."

The mother of one was greatly confused. "Why?"

I looked to the side in shame. "…I'm pregnant."

"…its Roy's, isn't it?"

My eyes widened in shock, but quickly went back to their passive state. I nodded.

Her face was contorted with understanding and sympathy. Gracias knew the laws of the military, and the consequences. Fraternization could not go whatsoever in the military, and it angered her so.

"Where will you go?"

I sighed. "Rush Valley. I've found a nice apartment there, and a job, so…" The mood was depressing.

Her next question was full of emotion. "Will you come back to visit?"

"No. It would be too risky."

Sadness was present in the short silence. I knew this would be a toll on her. I was one of the only females she could talk to about her deceased husband and not feel uncomfortable. I had met her shortly after Ishbal, when she and Hughes were engaged. I felt bad at being selfish at this point. I was letting down my subordinates, Gracias- even the Colonel. I had promised him I would always protect him, but now…

It seems like a lie.

After a while, a sad smile made its way onto Gracias' face. She pulled me into a hug, and I felt her sadness embrace me, as if my body was attracting it all. "Promise to write, will you?"

I was hesitant at first, but then I gave in. "I will." We pulled apart, and I started to walk back to the cab awaiting me. Halfway, I stopped and turned back to look at her.

"Gracias." My voice was filled with desperation. "You can't tell anyone of this. Please do that for me."

She gave a warm but sad smile, her eyes slightly glazed over. "Of course Riza.I would never betray you."

I gave a slight nod, and opened the door and went in. "I'll write soon, alright?" She nodded, the door to the cab was closed, and I was off to the train station, to start my new life, and never look back.

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Roy's POV

Two knocks echoed throughout the quiet room, slightly startling me, but recovering as quickly as it came. "Enter."

Opening the door, Fuery stepped in with a small pile of papers in his hand, setting quietly on my surprisingly uncovered desk.

Surprised at all the work completed, Fuery gave me an explanation at the sudden delivery of the papers. "This month's resignation forms, sir. A slight confusion caused them to arrive so late." With that, the sergeant left the office while shutting the door, encasing me in silence again.

With a huff, I open the folder, amazed at how many subordinates of mine resigned. "Jeez, what did I do, scare 'em all away?" I said to myself as I skimmed through them looking to see who decided to quit.

I saw several I recognized, several I did not. More names flipped by: Captain Sanders, Private Riles-"

A name caught my eye as I went through. Thinking it was my eyes playing tricks on me, I flipped back, quite curious, but horror growing more apparent on my face.

And then I stopped. I had found what I had been looking for; although I wish I had not.

Neatly printed on the dotted line, in cursive handwriting, in the handwriting I've grown familiar with for so many years, was the name of the person I love.

1st Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

Everything went so fast, it felt like it wasn't even I who was moving myself, but another person, controlling invisible strings that held my body. Before I knew it, I was dialing a phone number I knew backwards, my hands shaking.

I waited. And waited, finally, a noise cut through the silence similar to a person picking up the phone. "Haw-Riza? Are you-"

"I'm sorry, but I am afraid that number is unavailable, please check the number you are calling-"

I dropped the phone on its hook. My hand lingered right above, not moving, neither my body. My mouth was frozen in fear and horror.

At that time I realized, as much as I didn't want to believe it, it was true.

She was gone.

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**the word horror was used a lot in this chapter.' halfway through the chapter, i ran out of words to say, and so finally i said 'screw this,' and used some words over and over again. **

**I've tried to make this chapter longer than the others again, and maybe I'll do that again with #7.**

**Please Review!**


	7. Hide and Seek

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its chracters.

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Riza's POV:

The apartment lit up from the darkness that once consumed it as I flicked on the light. "Braha? I'm home…"

A black blur suddenly ended up sitting beside feets, panting and all. I smiled tiredly; it felt good not to live alone.

It had been 2 months since I had left Central, and I was three months pregnant with Roy's child. I had gotten a job at a Weapon store not far from the Automail shop Winry worked at. During lunch I went with the young blond to café and we discussed about what Edward said was happening around Central and with the Colonel.

He had become zombie-like, she had said to me over tea. That he was less… of himself.

She had also told me that he had taken as much time off as he could to look for me. It had shocked me. It also made me feel terrible for all that I was putting him through. I knew that that one night when he had invited me over, my hormones from the pregnancy had been revealed and the rage and anger I had showed him that night was a bit too much. But still…

I wish he would've at least…

Quickly forcing the thought out of my mind, I fed my dog and quickly undressed and slipped into the shower stall.

As the hot water poured down my body, I raised my hand to the slight arc of my stomach.

A faint smile was present on my face. I couldn't for this baby to be born. Before, I was utterly scraed and frightened by the fact that there was another life growing inside of me that would depend on me for its every need and want.

But now, I was looking forward to raising this child growing inside of me.

Turning off the shower, I left the bathroom to change into a dress shirt that Roy left over my house one day (somehow). I don't know why I wear it, but it just happens, as much as I don't want to admit.

Crawling into bed and closing my eyes, I started to think.

What if Roy does find me? And about the baby? Will he get mad? Scared? What if he wants custody over the child? Well that I highly doubted, due to having a child under his wing would definitely not help his playboy reputation. I slightly laughed at that thought.

I sighed. There was no use in worrying about something that wouldn't happen. As I drifted off to sleep, I never thought I would be so wrong about conclusion.

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_3 months later_

I couldn't go outside today.

Because _he _was here.

He had taken another one of his week-long leaves to try and find me. And this time, he had decided to look in Rush Valley.

He was thorough with his searches, I had heard.

He went to every door, shop, person. Shwoing them my picture, asking as much questions as they could handle.

Was he that desperate? Did he care about me _that _much?

I hope he just givesd up soon. Moves on, or something that could stop this behavior.

Because its making my heart ache with guilt and agony.

I just wanted to rip open the door and go out to the streets and scream to him that I was here, and that I loved him with all my heart, but I knew that that would be heart breaking and a stupid move.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

I knew Braha would bark, so as fast as my pregnant body could move, I ran to the next room and covered the small dog's muzzle with my hand.

The knocking continued for at least ten minutes, until a sigh was heard and footsteps indicated he was gone.

I sighed and sat on the ground, tired mentally and physically.

How much longer would I have to put up with this silly game of hide and seek?

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Sorry, but I'm making this chapter really, really short, I know. I guess I'm just really lazy.

Yeah that would explain it.

It's a day late, sorry guys, but its here!


	8. Prepare for the worst

**Okay, I updated sooner. So what. "And it's not the end of the world?" most of you are probably thinking.**

**Well, a review from picesgirl01 (thank you very much, by the way) just convinced me (a wittle, wittle bit… ok a lot) to update faster. **

**And, I was bored and was like, what the hell, and updated.**

**Gah. So here's the chapter. Enjoy to your heart's content.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

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Riza's POV:

_1 month and 3 weeks later._

Ten days.

Ten days, and then these ten pounds that are attached to my stomach will be out and become a crying, urinating, needy baby.

Ugh, why did pregnancy have to be so difficult?!

What pain did the men endure? Sure, then had to hear their lover's complaints and groans and whines and hold their hand as the baby came (and pray that it wouldn't break from the pressure), but at least they didn't have to walk like a duck, carrying ten pounds and forcing a baby out of their uterus!

I huffed in frustration, causing my bangs to slightly rise. All this impatience and anger was causing me to ache.

I had taken my leave from work about a couple months ago, so all this sitting in my house had kept me restless. I had never felt so useless in all my life!

Winry had come over a couple times a day to check up on me and such, but I still felt like a useless log.

For once, I couldn't wait until I could work again.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Riza? It's me Winry!"

I got up from my position on the couch and waddled over into the hallway. "Hey Winry- what's the matter? Why are you flus—"



I didn't have time to finish as she walked in, closed the door and rushed into the living room. "Uh, there's a slight problem." She peeked through the curtains, her eyes widening as she quickly jerked her head from the window.

"Wha- what happened? And why are you looking out my window?" I felt something in my stomach at her next words.

"The colonel's here and I think he knows something's up."

Oh no. Not good. "But…how?"

She looked guilty. "Well, I was looking for some baby clothes for you and I was talking to the clerk about you, and we sorta mentioned your name, and… well, I didn't notice him behind me and well…"

This was bad. I sighed, trying to relieve the tightness in my chest. "Wait? So he knows I'm here?"

"He might-"

"Does he know I'm pregnant?"

She paused. "I don't think so."

I sighed in relief. "Well, that's good enough. But if he's on his way over here, then we need to get out of here as soon as-"

I felt wetness travel down my legs as something splashed on the floor.

Horror reflected on both of our faces.

"My…my—" I couldn't finish the sentence, but there was no need to tell since she already knew.

My water had broken, and the only thing that had worsened the situation was the rough knocking on the door.

**Yeah. and I complain about cliffhangers...**

**Maybe if I'm bored enough, the next chapter will come out sooner...**

**but maybe if I'm evil enough, it won't D**

**Just kidding! Just wait not knowing!**


	9. Chapter Skip

"Is this really a good idea?" Our steps were metallic clicks on the rusty stairs. "I mean, in your state, and –"

The Cornflower-haired woman was irritated enough. "You have a better plan, Winry? Because right now this is our only choice –"

"Unless you just confront Mustang!"

"_You don't understand!"_

The woman in labor whipped down so fast, the younger one was afraid the baby might have endured harm. "_Colonel_ Mustang is exactly that: a colonel. And not just any colonel, but a colonel who wants to reach the top without any distractions, and fraternization with fellow military members is not permitted. The last thing he needs is baby, which is why I'm in this situation right at this moment."

"But –"

"But nothing. That's the end of it. Let's _go_…_!_" The end came out as a groan, followed by a string of curses that shouldn't be said by an upcoming mother. "We need to hurry."

With a nod, they were both down the fire escape and scurrying down the alley over to the Clinic, unbeknownst to them a figure watched from above.

"What the hell?" His words were rushed but whispered as he stood by the window, watching the two figures scurry out of sight. By the time he gotten into the apartment –with the help of his weight and shoulder –the two were already on their way _away _from him. He'll go on later, he thought. They were bound to not go anywhere too far.

But what caught him by surprise was the look of his sub –no, ex-subordinate. He had only caught the view of her from the back, but still, something was off about her… her hips were more curvy and pronounced, and it looked like she had been putting on a little weight… had his lieutenant been getting lazy? No that wasn't it, but at this point, it didn't matter, all that matter was catching her and ending this idiotic game of cat and mouse.

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There were brief grunts and sharp intakes of air heard outside the door.

Just those few sounds were enough to get Winry nervous.

It had been 10 hours.

She had been told in the past that the birth of a baby was a long and painful process, but this long?

Had she underestimated the bravery of mothers?

A short shriek left her in shivers.

Apparently so, then.

It would probably be better to move to the lobby. The constant shrieks were upsetting her stomach.

As her feet started to move, her head started to follow its train of thought, bringing her to the conclusion of suddenly stopping at the sight she saw.

Okay, so maybe it was a better decision to sit on the bench outside the door, she thought as she quickly hid behind the wall that covered the view of her from the person who was currently scanning the occupants in the room from the window.

Hm. So he found them.

Sighing, she decided to pivot and walk back to bench. Life was hell.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The sudden burst of quiet couldn't be any louder.

I was scared. Shouldn't there be congratulating? Havoc and rush? Relief in the surgeons' eyes?

That's not what I saw. No, none of that.

I was scared, despite the sudden absence of pain and stress.

Scared for them.

Scared for the baby.

Scared for me.

I had never felt more scared in my life.

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A young nurse had stepped out of the room, her footsteps rousing the young girl awake.

"You can come in now." Her voice was quiet, her smile was sad, her eyes were glassy.

Her mind was frantic, but her footsteps were slow and steady. She wanted to see the baby. Hopefully a girl; she already had two boys to handle that still acted like babies despite their mature age.

"Riza –" Her excitement was washed from her face as she saw the woman.

Her eyes were red, and there was wetness noticeable on her cheeks, as her face was turned away from her friend, but the window. Her breathing pattern was in erratic breaths, and seconds later, a hand had just covered her face.

Winry was looking. Looking for the crib, that should've been in this room to hold the new life.

"Riza, where's –"

"She was stillborn."


	10. Doors

**I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.**

* * *

"Sorry."

"Hm?"

Movement went to a halt in the slightly crowded office, The golden haired woman looking up in confusion to her superior officer. It had been about 6 weeks since the incident in Rush Valley, with the raven haired alchemist finding her distraught and full of despair in a hospital room, putting two and two together and finally unveiling the 9 month secret.

Days after that were awkward and depressing, words abandoned from their minds and only their eyes portrayed the true reality. After that, it was Riza's decision to end this brick wall of tension between the two, by refilling her position as Colonel Mustang's 1st Lieutenant Hawkeye, thus returning to Central.

It seemed it was a silent promise between the two to leave whatever happened in Rush Valley to stay there, and to move on without lives, drifting into old routine, without the late night visits and the marks reminding us of the day before.

So, with that, it was the end of their secret relationship, which in fact due to its secrecy, did not change them outwardly at all. Havoc, thought, was a bit of a problem, coming back to Central and finding the tall man bombarding them with questions and assumptions that were partly true was worrying. But with a few false explanations for the slightly gullible man his suspicions had vanished along with the rumors that had been going around the office.

But, today it seemed, would be the first time in almost a year that the remembrance of their relationship would be brought to light.

His voice was strained with a hint of defeat. "I'm sorry…for not being there for you."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Please don't apologize sir, after all I was the--"

"No!" The sudden outburst had stunned the honey eyed snipe shooter. "I mean, not being there for anything. I'm sorry if I wasn't caring enough."

A brief smile was etched onto her features, lingering for a good moment of time. "Thank you, Roy."

As if the world had been lifted from his shoulders, his skin seemed much brighter, and his eyes screamed relief, she noticed as she removed the filled out paperwork from his desk and walked to the door.

"Riza." Her hand rested on the door handle, her body turning slightly as in response to the flame alchemist.

"I want-" He took a deep breath, his voice shaky and uncertain. "I want to try this again. I really want to be with you. I want this to be right."

Her eyes softened, and returning to her task of opening the door, her voice had found its words. "Okay. I'll think about it."

"Okay."

And the door was closed. But with a hopeful smile, Roy felt another was being edged open.

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**Okay, its done. No more. Phew! What a journey! A story that wasn't even that long took a while, huh? Sorry for the long wait, for those who probably forgot about this story! I will be changing the first two chapters sooner or later, revising and making less dramatic and better. Thanks for those who kept with this story!**


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